Boyfriend is sick… again

Josh, who has not been sick in about 5 years, is sick again (twice in the same month). I guess getting sick that first time weakened his immune system.

Anyway, so Josh was just gone for a week to see his favourite band, Phish, who just reunited for a tour. He took a roadtrip with three of his buddies to Chicago and then met up with his uncle for another show in New York state. Let’s just say he had very little sleep, more alcohol than usual and not exactly a steady healthy diet during that week.

He got back yesterday at 1am and has said that his throat was feeling weird, like raspy because he was yelling and singing so much at the concerts. Then later on in the day he started really complaining about his throat and that he was thirsty and feeling really full from all the food we had eaten that day. He actually got home from the concerts on my birthday so we went out for a big breakfast and then in the evening we went to a movie (Josh got one of those refillable large bag of popcorn that he mostly ate to himself) and then dinner at an Italian restaurant right after the movie.

He was fine when we got home, just said he felt really full and his throat was bothering him. We eventually went to bed. At around 7:30am Josh woke up to go to the bathroom and I woke up from that. I assumed it was just to relieve some of his fullness from the night before (if you know what I mean), and I was right. I asked him a question and he responded and sounded fine so I thought he was feeling ok and just had to go to the bathroom.

He flushed, washed his hands and then came out and told me I might want to leave the room because he felt like he might have to throw up. I ran out of there like the clumsy fool I am except 100 times worse because I was already shaking and, well, I was literally just sleeping, comfy and rolled up in my bed. I am not normally anywhere near a morning person to begin with, but I popped wide awake as soon as those words came out of his mouth. I ran downstairs to the living room which is at the bottom of the stairs. I blocked my ears, but unplugged them for one second – perfect timing to hear Josh making the most horrible noises from the bathroom upstairs – I totally freaked out. I ran down to the basement which is currently unfinished and in the process of being renovated, with tools and paint cans scattered everywhere. Probably not the best place to go in my state – barefoot and blind. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I ran out of the bedroom so fast that I didn’t even grab my glasses because they weren’t easily accessible and I had no time. I have absolutely horrible vision to the point that I cannot function in the outside world without my glasses or contact lenses. I always wear my contacts so my glasses were in its case somewhere buried in my giant purse.

I stayed in the construction-zone basement for a few more minutes, still with my fingers in my ears, and then started to go back upstairs. Josh walked downstairs to check on me a second later and he looked ridiculously pale. This is part of my phobia that I really hate – people feel bad for me when they shouldn’t, they’re the ones who are sick!

Josh told me that he didn’t actually throw up and I told him that I had heard him! He said I probably heard him coughing and said that he was just dry heaving a few times and it actually made him feel better. I told him I probably heard the heaving – what do I care if something comes out of his mouth or not! If I’m downstairs, all I know is what I hear and what I heard made me shake uncontrollably and push away his hand when he tried to touch my face while he said he was sorry. “I don’t want to get sick,” I told him. I also told him not to say he was sorry. That just makes me feel ridiculously guilty. How could he be saying sorry to me for something out of his control, especially when HE is the one who’s sick? I didn’t want to be near him even though I wished I could comfort him and cuddle him and make him feel better. But getting the stomach flu is a definite no-no for me. We had kissed a lot last night (obviously, like we do every day) and I shared my water bottle with him all day and all I could think about was how to stay away from him in case he had to throw up again and how to make sure this didn’t happen to me.

I ran into the bedroom like a madwoman and grabbed my phone, my laptop, my laptop plug, earphones and 3 Cold FX pills from the bathroom. The toilet seat was still up when I went in.

I ran towards to the door to leave asap as Josh lay on the bed. “I’m sorry,” he said. I felt so horrible. “Don’t say that,” I told him as I ran out the door. “You can leave the door open so the cat can come in and out,” he said. “No, I’m going to close it,” I told him. “In case you have to throw up again because I can hear it more from downstairs if the door is open.” I then fled downstairs. I plugged in my laptop, and plugged my earphones into my laptop so I could fill my ears with music so that no other sounds could make their way inside. I went to get a glass of water and chugged down all three pills at once. I turned on the TV and listened to music at the same time, and that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. Oh and I eventually ran back upstairs, of course checking that Josh was still in bed and not hunched over the toilet, and grabbed my glasses and a pack of gum. Gum always helps my anxiety and gives me a good taste in my mouth when I get nauseous because of paranoia.

Anyway I’ve been sitting here for almost 2 hours already and it’s still pretty early in the morning. Hopefully josh will have been dehydrated or something – anything but the stomach flu! Anything that I cannot catch and that goes away really soon! I’ll update later.

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~ by marlee on August 16, 2009.